What does it mean, socially speaking, when white women date black men? Millennials seem to catch the drift. If you like the person, what’s the problem? The majority are blithely and thankfully color blind, but we can’t say that for all the generational groups. Racism is alive and well in politics and even in the stereotyping of those would choose to date interracially.
“We’re Not Objects”, Women Say
We, as in women everywhere, have our own voices, but you wouldn’t think so according to all the articles written by men who have made themselves authorities on why black men date white women and why white women date black men.
According to the stereotype, successful black men who marry white women are taking a trophy wife. White women who marry successful black men are gold diggers who would also marry eighty-year-old white men as long as there was enough money involved. Black men who date white women are ashamed of their heritage. White women who date black men are only interested in their legendary physique.
Not Ready for Salvation Yet?
There is a large subset of men who believe only white men can give a white woman what she truly needs. If she is dating a black man, they are of the opinion she has low self-esteem and needs redirecting. They often become very energized in their attention, hinting she can do better. That she might actually enjoy dating black men better because of their ethnic background, cultural differences or simply because that’s the direction her hormones flew, is an insult to their egos.
There is also a subset of black men who believe black men who date white women are not only sell-out’s, they are opening themselves up to heartbreak. They’ll tell him she’s only using him as an attention-getting device in public, or that she might find him smoking hot in bed, but she’ll never marry him.
You Know What They Say About Sticks and Stones
No reasonable woman is going to date a man just to gain attention, to stand out in a crowd or to prop up her ego when the backlash of white women dating black men is so obnoxious. She doesn’t receive a great deal of support from the man-crowd on either side of her, with all of them trying to figure out her ulterior motives.
There isn’t really a one size fits all answer, but the most probable one is this. She likes him. She finds him attractive. She enjoys his sense of humor, his hobbies, and his interests. Maybe she listens to the same music or reads the same books.
Racism isn’t bred into us. It’s taught to us and it’s perpetrated further when people who have never had the experience of dating outside their race try to analyze it as abnormal behavior. Some white women weren’t raised to make racial distinctions. Some were but had the intelligence and courage to rise above it. Some continue to be white women, attracted to and dating white men.