Interracial relationship: How to comfortably talk about finances

 

There are a few very popular quotes which say “money is the root of all evil” and “money cannot buy you happiness”. Although this can be true to a certain extent however, it is money which is at the centre of many interracial relationships falling apart due to the lack of it or different attitudes towards how it should be spent. Finances or money is a very sensitive subject which many couples are so scared to openly talk about. If you have a problem discussing money in your relationship, here are a few tips that will help get you talking

I.Have a full understanding about your own attitude towards money: The best time to start talking about money is when the relationship is in its early stages so that each person can get the general idea of their partner’s attitude when it comes to money. It is important to be perfectly clear about what your financial goals are both long as well as short term.  Your attitude towards things like spending habits and risk can be the building block to having a strong relationship which even money can’t break.

II.Don’t overwhelm, be open: When the relationship is in its early stages, you can really put someone off by asking about their finances in a manner which makes them feel like they are in an interrogation. Introduce the subject about money in a general way like asking how they would spend their money if they won the lottery. This is a very good way to get an indication of a person’s spending habits.

III.Picture the future together: When many interracial couples talk about money, they look at it as a way of deciding who will be paying what bills for example. The topic about money should be something that shouldn’t scare anyone, it should be looked at as an exciting way to bring black women white men or white women black men both closer and make plans on where it should be spent together.

IV.Remember to always keep your cool: No one is absolutely perfect when it comes to finances and there will come a time where one might come to their partner for advice if they have money problems or experiencing debt. It is important to note that when this happens, keep your cool and be non judgemental as well as objective. Yes your partner’s spending habit might put both of you in a hole and looking debt in the face can be something that is a bitter pill to swallow however, it is vital to acknowledge the guts it took your partner to open up to you. They pretty much will know even before you say anything that they have messed things up and confronting them aggressively will only make them become defensive instead of coming out clean about their financial woes. The way you deal with them when they open up can affect how they will speak to you about finances in the future. Majority of financial problems can easily be overcome by just speaking about the root of the problem and taking action as a couple.

4 challenges interracial couples face

Just like the average relationship in any part of the world, interracial couples have their fair share of challenges they have to deal with. The concept of dating someone of a different race who is different traditions, culture and even language might sounds exciting on paper but it can be like teaching a pig how to fly. Since different do exist, it can sometimes make couples feel like they are at a standstill instead of being romantic. Before anyone steps foot in the world of interracial dating, they need to educate themselves on some of the major challenges

  1. Family members

It is very easy for someone to look the other way and ignore what society have to say about their relationship however, family is a whole different matter and something that cannot simply be sidestepped because they have a much bigger influence and they play a massive role in the direction of the relationship. If there has been an interracial relationship in the family before, it will be much easier for them to embrace your new partner but if there hasn’t, it can be a bit tricky at the start. To make things easier, always get their option first, make sure that they accept the race your partner before you introduce them to family.

  1. Being discriminated

One has to understand that not everyone approves interracial dating and even if you are open-minded, you have to be realistic and be aware that there are members of society who are not as open-minded. You have to be prepared to deal with people sometimes thinking you are out of your mind dating outside your race. You have to be mentally strong to not let that affect and the decision to date outside your race is yours and yours alone.

 

  • Fetishism

This mainly applies to women where they have to deal with people thinking they are dating out their race to fulfil a fantasy and not love. Though not always true but this is something that a woman has to face because some people date out their race just to show off and it makes the concept and idea of interracial dating sound bad.

  1. Contrast in opinions

Everyone is a product of their environment and things like beliefs, experiences and traditions help shape a person to be who they are. Interracial dating on the other hand is something that makes you fall in love with someone who is completely different to you in terms of traditions, experiences and belief. This can lead to a clash in ideology and arguments if both sides choose to not overlook these points. Failure to overcome them can make the relationship very toxic and an unhappy one.

Seeing an interracial couple being happy and walking arm in arm with each other is a beautiful sight. If one chooses to overlook the four interracial dating challenges that have been highlighted in this article, they will have a fruitful relationship with their partner that will stand the test of time.

 

 

 

 

 

When White Women Date Black Men


What does it mean, socially speaking, when white women date black men?  Millennials seem to catch the drift.  If you like the person, what’s the problem?  The majority are blithely and thankfully color blind, but we can’t say that for all the generational groups.  Racism is alive and well in politics and even in the stereotyping of those would choose to date interracially.

“We’re Not Objects”, Women Say

We, as in women everywhere, have our own voices, but you wouldn’t think so according to all the articles written by men who have made themselves authorities on why black men date white women and why white women date black men.

According to the stereotype, successful black men who marry white women are taking a trophy wife.  White women who marry successful black men are gold diggers who would also marry eighty-year-old white men as long as there was enough money involved.  Black men who date white women are ashamed of their heritage.  White women who date black men are only interested in their legendary physique.

Not Ready for Salvation Yet?

There is a large subset of men who believe only white men can give a white woman what she truly needs.  If she is dating a black man, they are of the opinion she has low self-esteem and needs redirecting.  They often become very energized in their attention, hinting she can do better.  That she might actually enjoy dating black men better because of their ethnic background, cultural differences or simply because that’s the direction her hormones flew, is an insult to their egos.

There is also a subset of black men who believe black men who date white women are not only sell-out’s, they are opening themselves up to heartbreak.  They’ll tell him she’s only using him as an attention-getting device in public, or that she might find him smoking hot in bed, but she’ll never marry him.

You Know What They Say About Sticks and Stones

No reasonable woman is going to date a man just to gain attention, to stand out in a crowd or to prop up her ego when the backlash of white women dating black men is so obnoxious.  She doesn’t receive a great deal of support from the man-crowd on either side of her, with all of them trying to figure out her ulterior motives.

There isn’t really a one size fits all answer, but the most probable one is this.  She likes him.  She finds him attractive.  She enjoys his sense of humor, his hobbies, and his interests.  Maybe she listens to the same music or reads the same books.

Racism isn’t bred into us.  It’s taught to us and it’s perpetrated further when people who have never had the experience of dating outside their race try to analyze it as abnormal behavior.  Some white women weren’t raised to make racial distinctions.  Some were but had the intelligence and courage to rise above it.  Some continue to be white women, attracted to and dating white men.